Mastodonic Writers’ Block?

How to describe the Red Wings’ overtime loss to the Dallas Stars last night?

I dunno, I’ve got nothing. I keep coming back to this, trying to write about it, and all I can think of is the crazy vocabulary of the Versus announcers. I have no idea who they were (I don’t listen to national announcers all that much, I like Ken and Mickey too much) but I have the feeling I never want to hear them again.

There is a part of me that wants to work “mastodonic” into my every day vocabulary but then I realize anyone using it just comes across as a supreme douchebag. Yes, it’s an accurate description of the Chris Osgood save to which it was applied but its use smacks of superfluousness (there’s an SAT word for you).

Then we’ve got Pavel Datsyuk as the “Valedictorian of Awesome School.” “Awesome School?” Seriously? Chris Creamer calls it ESPN2 circa 1996 and I’ve gotta agree.

Malik might have a complaint but I’m going to Latin that one up. Awesomus Prime. First in awesomeness.

Study up, there’ll be a test on this. Mastodonic. Superfluousness. Vox populi. Awesomus Prime.

As for the game… Osgood faced fifty damned shots. I think that explans things pretty well. When you can allow five goals and still come out of it with a .900 save percentage you did your job. I’m just leaving it at that.

Author: Clark Rasmussen

Clark founded the site that would become DetroitHockey.Net in September of 1996 with no idea what it would lead to. He continues to write for the site and executes the site's design and development.

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